Zen Is Two Today!!

I can’t believe my big boy, my sunshine, my leprechaun, my pot of gold, my lucky charm is suddenly two years old! 💚🐾☘️🐾

Before Bogie’s ashes even came home, I was looking forward to Zen’s arrival. I had promised Ducky that we would get her another baby brother to help her deal with Daddy’s dementia demons. Then Ducky left me, too. I was devastated. But once the shock wore off and I was left with just the reality of her absence, I knew Ducky would pick the perfect puppy for me. I just had to wait patiently. That waiting wasn’t easy in between Sam’s dementia-induced “episodes” but I managed. And suddenly, on St. Patrick’s Day 2022, on their mama’s birthday, my little furball and his nine siblings were born. I was soooo excited! And Sam was excited (when his dementia allowed him some control).

Oh! They were soooo cute and tiny! Baby leprechauns all! When they were three weeks old, Sam and I went to see them. I saw baby Zen, with his smudge muzzle, looking at us from under a chair and fell in love.

He stole my heart even then, but at just three weeks old he wasn’t ready to choose his humans yet. So we went back to see all the puppies again the following week. And I let Ducky do the choosing. I knew she would whisper in the right puppy ear. It took a little extra encouragement from Ducky because Sam’s demons were lurking in the shadows; but that little cutie I had already fallen in love with picked me. And eventually picked Sam too.

So much has happened since that day four weeks after Zen was born that I couldn’t possibly include it all here. Some of it was heartbreaking, some of it was truly frightening, a lot of it loaded with anxiety. But once Sam was in a place where I knew he would be cared for professionally and compassionately, the anxiety eased enough that I could bring Zen back home. So I did and our relationship, our bond has been growing.

We’ve had our times when my journey into widowhood has made for tense moments, but we’ve gotten through them relatively unscathed and more bonded as a result. Zen has truly been my “rock” throughout these 17+ months since Sam joined Bogie, Ducky, and our other pups at the Rainbow Bridge to wait for me.

Then, six months and one day after Zen was born, his little cousin Zoey came into this world with her own nine siblings. I knew I wanted another girl to love. And I knew raising pups of the opposite sex would be challenging. But I felt up to it and Zen needed a playmate. So, six months to the day after Sam and I brought Zen home for the first time, I brought Zoey home while my brother stayed with Zen.

This photo brings back memories of Callie and Shadow at the same ages.

Zen is not just my rock; he’s also an excellent big brother.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZEN-ZEN!! ☘️☘️🎂🎉🎈 Zoey and I love you and will do all we can to make your day as special as you are! 💚💚💚💚💚

WP Daily Prompt – What are you passionate about?

06/15/202306/15/20235 Comments

In just two words … my dogs. I am passionate about their welfare, their health, and their happiness. I am passionate about giving them the best life I can afford.

I am passionate about giving them as much unconditional love as they give me. They are sweet, loving, goofy, fun, loyal, and sometimes frustrating teenagers. They are my best friends as well as my “fur-babies” and I am their “mama”.

They are both Heaven-sent, picked out for me by my canine soulmate who earned her angel wings and joined her older sisters and younger brothers in Heaven in February of last year.

These two current pups didn’t know their human “daddy” – hubby’s dementia had already mostly robbed me of the man I married by the time Zen came to live with us at 8 weeks of age. The shell of that man made my poor puppy nervous at times, so he spent a lot of time with his breeder. When hubby was admitted to the hospital, I spent time getting the house cleaned up – when I wasn’t at the hospital with hubby – and then I brought Zen home with me for good. Zoey was born less than a month before hubby passed (peacefully in his sleep at the hospital, thankfully). She came to live with Zen and me in mid-November. And life has been somewhat chaotic and exhausting at times ever since – but always filled with love.

I was just as passionate about my furry angels before they each got their own angel wings. At times it was exhausting dividing my time between them and their human “daddy”; but I always tried to do my best and was always rewarded with their unconditional love.

It devastated hubby and me each time we had to say good-bye to one of the pups. And that devastation – especially the loss of Bogie, an 11-month-old Golden Retriever who got his angel wings due to a traumatic accident – is what finally catapulted poor hubby into the final stages of his dementia. The last one to leave was my soulmate, Ducky, a Cardigan Corgi/Black Lab mix who I adopted from the shelter in 2012. It is Ducky who picked out these two for me, with help from her “baby brother”. Bogie is genetically related to both Zen and Zoey, so he was a natural helper. Ducky knew me better than I knew myself at the time. And she knew exactly what I needed insofar as my next furry earth angels. She visits me quite frequently with their help. (So does Bogie.)

Since this is Thursday – and I am thankful for all the pups I’ve had/now have in my life – I decided this daily prompt from WordPress was perfect for today’s blog hop post.

A Bittersweet Weekend

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Today – Saturday, January 14th – is the first “anniversary” of Bogie’s horrific, tragic, traumatic accident. A year has passed since my precious baby boy was taken from me, his daddy, his sister, and his uncle. The first of three traumatic losses in one year.

I spent some time yesterday morning reading my blog posts about Bogie – first to last – especially his trainer’s tribute, and tears rolled down my face. I will forever grieve for my precious baby boy. That grief, like the ocean, ebbs and flows with the tides.

Tomorrow – Sunday the 15th – will be 11 months since my beloved Ducky’s heart gave out on her after being shattered the month before by our loss of Bogie, and after many years of helping me deal with the stress of her beloved daddy’s dementia demons. As with Bogie, I will forever grieve for my precious little soulmate.

The “sweet” part of the “bittersweet,” though, is that today, Saturday the 14th, is also the Z Kids’ Gotcha Day. Zen came home to live with Sam and me on May 14th, so this is his 8-Month Gotcha Day. Zoey came home to live with Zen and me on November 14th, so this is her 2-Month Gotcha Day.

Zen has been my ray of sunshine, the bright spot in my life, since before he was even born (on St. Patrick’s Day) last year. Just knowing I was going to have another puppy in my life last year cheered me up most of the innumerable times that the grief over first Bogie and then Ducky overwhelmed me.

Once Zen came home after Sam had been hospitalized, he was often my reason for getting up in the morning. He became my best friend, my peaceful moments, my constant companion, my protector, my everything. And when I got the doctor’s unexpected yet somewhat relieving call that early October morning, Zen was my comforting, calming, peaceful zen puppy. He lived up to his name that morning as I cried into his fur. 😍

When Ducky became a winged angel, I knew I had to have two pups in my life again – the boy who was due in another month and another female. I wasn’t sure how I was going to do it, especially if I had to deal with the dementia demons at the same time; but I was determined to have two puppies so the first one wouldn’t be lonely when we couldn’t have him with us away from home. So, once again, my sweet baby girl came through for me when Zoey was born.

As Zen is my ray of sunshine, so Zoey is the starlight in my eyes. Zoey is sweet and sassy, like Ducky was. She is my baby girl, and I am her person. And, like Ducky adored Bogie, Zoey adores Zen. Likewise, as Bogie adored Ducky, so Zen adores Zoey. 💚💜🐾🐾

This post is a “bit” long-winded. I apologize for that. I’m grateful for those of you who have read it to the end. I hope everyone has a great weekend! ❤️❤️🐾🐾

Missing My (Human) Soulmate

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It is with very deep sadness that I must tell you my beloved husband, Sam, passed peacefully in his sleep early Friday morning, October 7th. 💔😢.

Most – if not all – of my long time readers know (but may not remember) that Sam was diagnosed with early-onset dementia in June of 2018. Back then it was still mild enough that Sam could enjoy a sense of independence. As the years passed, however, his cognitive abilities became so impaired that the doctors insisted he not be allowed to drive any more. That loss of independence really bothered him. Then Bogie had his traumatic accident, and a month later we lost Ducky to the sudden heart failure. The two losses coming so close together devastated us both and really started Sam’s downward spiral.

Before the dementia took control of Sam’s mind, we had a soul-to-soul connection, an affinity with each other that carried us through many trivial arguments over this or that. And it helped me separate the Sam I love from the dementia-induced alter ego who angered me, disappointed me, and hurt my feelings so often.

The real Sam was a kind-hearted, loving, friendly soul who never met a stranger. The real Sam loved his family – including each one of our many fur babies – with his whole heart, and we all love him. Now Sam and the fur kids (except Zen obviously) are all together again. Sam is no longer being chased relentlessly by his dementia demons; and all the earthly anxieties that plagued Ducky when Sam’s demons were lurking about are gone. So now they can all relax and enjoy each other’s company while they wait for Zen and me to join them.

I miss the real Sam. I know his spirit is with me, but I miss his physical presence. I miss our morning hugs, sitting in his lap with my head against his shoulder when I was sad, our walks around the back yard. I miss our day trips to the mountains with the pups. I miss his smile, his laugh, his hand reaching for mine. I miss watching him interact with the dogs. And I will miss him and each of them until it’s my turn to join them.

Grief is the price we pay for love. I know the pain of this loss will ebb and flow. I’m prepared for that. So I’ll close this post with a simple request…prayers for anyone and everyone impacted in some way by dementia. It is a horribly cruel disease, worse than cancer in my opinion.

I don’t have the obituary quite ready yet; but I can tell you that we will have a simple memorial service for Sam at our church a week from Saturday. For anyone who wants more details, just send me a message or email.

Zen’s Chillin’ with Grandpa

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My little boy is spending some time with his grandpa, doggie mama, auntie, and cousins – being taught doggie manners by five adult dogs in the same house. And getting a break from the stress of dealing with his human daddy’s dementia. And giving me a break from his teething. 🐊 🦈

Exploring Grandpa’s Yard

The room where he spent the first 8 weeks of his life.

“Grandpa Chuck” has been enjoying Zen’s time with him, too. I get glowing reports – and photos and/or videos – daily. Zen is being an absolutely perfect house guest. No teething, no biting, and no “accidents” to clean up. He did need a bath though after spending part of last Saturday helping his grandpa wash his truck. 🤪

Meanwhile, I’m here at home, working with hubby’s dementia doctor, trying to help him deal with the challenges of the dementia. I’m alone physically but I do have emotional support in the form of family and friends. And I can call our medical professionals any time I have questions.

I miss my canine emotional support team (Ducky and Bogie) and my “little ray of sunshine” (Zen) but I’m managing. At least I don’t have to worry about any of them getting hurt or feeling neglected.

So, on this Friday after Thankful Thursday, I’m thankful for caring, supportive medical professionals, family members, and friends (both online and IRL). More thankful than any words can convey.

Have a great weekend everyone! If it’s hot where you live – like it is here – stay cool and hydrated! If it’s cold, then keep warm (and hydrated). Love you all! Thanks for being our friends!

A Break from Baby Jaws

06/07/202206/08/202211 Comments

No, I’m NOT sending him away to training boarding school. That’s not even an option in my opinion.

Poor little Zen had an upset tummy yesterday, that – as far as I know – started around 3:30 in the morning. I cleaned up the mess around 4 am when his crying kept his HuDaddy and me awake. Once I had him and the kitchen cleaned up, I gave him a little rug to lay on until we all got up later.

We all went back to sleep until about 11:25. I got dressed and happily noted first that there were no more messes to clean up. Then I brought the little guy outside for his first potty break of the day. His first poop was a bit on the soft side but at least not all liquid. A little later it was, well, let’s say “wet”. So, when hubby and I went to the grocery store, I bought a can of organic pumpkin purée. And it, along with some ground chicken and white rice, for dinner had him feeling better by bedtime.

This morning he’s feeling more like himself. And he ended up chewing a small corner piece off his Lickimat and swallowing it. Hopefully it’ll come out the other end soon. 🙄

Right now he’s napping because I left him in the kitchen to stop him from biting my clothes and me. For so many reasons I wish Ducky were still here physically – mostly because I miss her so much; but also because I need her help with this furry little alligator. The kind of help that only a mature dog can provide.

So Much Going On

11/24/202111/24/202113 Comments

I can’t believe it’s been more than three months since my last post. Still, considering all that’s been going on, I’m surprised it’s only three months.

Where to start? Well, August was fairly normal – crazy busy trying to keep Bogie from being too much of a pest to Ducky. Bogie is an absolute love bug…sweet, loving, gentle…but still very much a puppy. And his youthful exuberance makes Ducky nervous at times. Frequently, to be totally honest.

Unfair Advantage

Then came September. Things were changing rapidly at our long-time vet’s office. Staff members that I had worked with while doing my vet assistant course externship had started leaving over the course of 2018, 2019 and 2020, but by the beginning of September only two remained. I knew from one of the last to leave that things had turned toxic. It was breaking my heart as well as my friends’ hearts.

Ducky had her annual wellness visit on September 23rd, and I could feel the tension just walking in the door. While the techs ran the various tests in the treatment area, hubby and I spoke with Dr. Simpson about Ducky’s hip dysplasia, discomfort, and frequent avoidance of Bogie. Dr. Simpson and I shared an unstated understanding of the sadness we felt over the changes. I told him I would stand by him, and I sealed it with a hug. And then the tech brought Ducky back into the exam room. A week later Dr. Simpson was gone as well. 😥 But we remain in touch. We’re like family to each other. He’s been Ducky’s primary vet for most of the last five years. And he’d been Bogie’s vet, too, since we first brought him home.

Over the last couple of months, I’ve been busy managing hubby’s dementia issues, Ducky’s and Bogie’s relationship, Ducky’s hip issues, and Bogie’s “growing pains”. At times I’ve felt like running away from home, but the adult in me kept me from it.

Meanwhile, Dr. Simpson has been working on a project that he asked my help with, and I’m delighted to be a part of it. I feel so strongly about it that I offered to publish a blog post and ask for feedback from you, my pet blogging buddies.

After suffering the heartbreak of losing his beloved chocolate Lab, Nestle (Ness), he started thinking/wondering why he was expending so much energy on mediocre pet owners. He wants to help pet parents who love and treat their pets like beloved family members. And help protect them from the bad, sometimes dangerous misinformation they might find on “Dr. Google”.

The project involves building a community of likeminded pet parents; and eventually building a by-referral-only clinic to serve them and their beloved pets. One where he and the pet parents would work together to help the pets lead their best possible lives. One where mutual respect and trust is what drives the partnership between vet and pet parent.

For my part in this project, I agreed to reach out to my fellow bloggers for help. So, I have two questions for you:

1) As true pet parents, what is your biggest fear?

2) What makes you turn to Dr. Google for answers to your pets’ health issues? What are you searching for?

We all know there is a lot of misleading, sometimes dangerous information out there in cyberspace. Dr. Simpson would like to make a difference in pets’ lives by helping their humans find real, safe information when they need it.

I realize the holidays are right around the corner and that you’re probably already busy with preparations. So, if you could take take a few minutes to answer those questions for me I would greatly appreciate it. So would Dr. Simpson.

Finally, tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day here in the USA, so to all who celebrate it, I hope you have a safe, wonderful holiday!

ACE Free Work, Ducky & Me

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*ACE stands for Animal Centred Education, and is a program conceived and built from the ground up by a British gal by the name of Sarah Fischer.

To greatly simplify and shorten a long and complicated story, Sarah has been doing free work with many different animals for several years in an attempt to find reasons for their unwanted behavior, including reactivity and/or sensitivity to many things, people, and other animals. She also uses Tellington TTouch body work to introduce handling but ACE includes Free Work and detailed observations which give clues to a dog’s sensitivities.

I first learned about ACE and Free Work from my friend, Janet Finlay, who owns and operates Canine Confidence Academy in the U.K. and provides online learning as well as person-to-person workshops (up until the pandemic shutdown and will start again as mitigation makes it possible). I’ve taken several of Janet’s online courses over the years since we adopted Ducky, including the current (ongoing) one – Your End of the Lead 2.0 (an updated version of her original course by the same name) – to help me deal with Ducky’s reactivity. The courses also include private communities/forums where those of us taking the course can share our videos and stories without fear of judgment and form valuable alliances with other guardians of reactive dogs.

In some ways, Free Work for dogs is similar to beginner nose work; but instead of hiding treats, you put them in full view of the dog. Generally, we use a variety of surfaces, enrichment toys, etcetera, as the “course” layout so that the dog gets sensory information through its feet, nose, eyes, ears, etc. Once the course is set up, you invite the dog to explore it.

If possible, video the session (so you can watch later to pick up on those things you might miss) while the dog is exploring and getting the treats and observe her/his movement and posture, noting things that they like, nervous system responses, preferences (with respect to the direction they move in, objects they interact with, etc). Don’t include items in the course that you know are concerning to the dog, or remove an item if the dog appears to be wary of it. And, importantly, observe without any expectations as to the outcome. (Believe me, that last part takes some practice!)

The great thing about Free Work is that you don’t have to buy any special equipment – you can use whatever items you already own. And you can lay out just one or two items, or four or five, with enough room for the dog to move freely around them. (If your dog is super sensitive or tentative to her/his environment, it’s probably better to start with only one or two items so as not to overwhelm them.)

For Ducky, I needed a space where I could give her the freedom of eating her breakfast away from the main source of her anxiety – her “Daddy”. And, because she was so anxious at times that she wouldn’t eat out of her regular food bowl, I got out some different lickimats that I’ve purchased over the last couple of years. At first I just laid out the lickimats on the floor of my “office”. Then I experimented with different heights – like a 12-pack of toilet paper, an overturned Amazon box, and an agility cone (with the lickimat bowl inverted over it). Over the last several months, this has become Ducky’s preferred way to eat her breakfast.

The ACE Free Work not only gave me a way to relieve Ducky’s morning anxieties enough for her to eat; but it also gave me a learning opportunity. While observing her movement around the room via the videos I posted, several of my course mates (and Janet) started picking up on clues that she had some definite areas of bodily discomfort. When those clues were pointed out to me – in addition to the clues I was picking up on myself – I saw something that greatly concerned me: that Ducky might have cruciate disease in her left hind leg. As you know from an earlier post, that didn’t turn out to be the case; but she does have dysplasia in her left hip and we now have options for relieving and managing the pain.

So, with all that said, if you’re interested in learning more about ACE Free Work, I suggest checking out Sarah Fisher’s website: http://www.tilleyfarm.org.uk. There is a private group on Facebook, as well, called “ACE Connections” that you can ask to join.

Happy 8th Birthday Ducky!!!

02/13/202019 Comments

Today is my baby girl’s birthday. My earth angel. My rock.

Happy Birthday Sweet Girl! Daddy and I – and your guardian angel sisters and brother – love you completely and unconditionally.

We’ll have to delay your birthday walk at the park until tomorrow. But you don’t care which day we go as long as we do go.

We’re joining the Thankful Thursday Blog Hop because Ducky is at the top of our “grateful for” list.

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Radar’s Future

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For those of you who haven’t “met” Radar yet, you can read our introductory post here.

Radar’s future is – as far as we’re concerned – decided. He is our boy; and we are his family. Forever. Always. Infinitely. No questions asked.

He has been a joy to have around the house these last 4 weeks! He’s easy-going, happy, active, smart, and adaptable.

When hubby and I were away from home last week – visiting family – we left Ducky and Radar at home in the very capable, reliable care of our long-time pet sitters. Radar adapted to the change in his routine and our absence quite well. Ducky was another story, but she’s fine now so not to worry.

Now that Radar has settled into his new life – life with people and a canine sister who love him – he will be starting his treatment for heartworm disease next Tuesday (11/12/19). So I’m asking for your prayers, POTP, healing energies, or whatever you call it that he will recover quickly and safely.

Heartworm disease is scary, complicated, and can have lifelong effects on a dog’s overall health. Even after the infection itself has been successfully treated – resulting in a negative test return – the damage to the dog’s cardiovascular system can be permanent.

Thanks to the American Heartworm Society website for the following information!

The treatments are preceded by an antiobiotic protocol of doxycycline to kill any bacteria which live in the heartworms. Those nasty bacteria are what help the worms survive and reproduce. They also may cause worsening inflammation when the adult heartworms die. By giving the antibiotic prior to the medication to kill the adult heartworms, the likelihood of complications from the treatment is decreased, and the chance for complete elimination of the infection is optimized.

Radar has also been getting his monthly Heartgard preventive to kill immature heartworms and prevent new infections from developing.

Meanwhile, I’ve had Radar to his vet a few times about other minor issues, and each time she has checked his “vitals”. His heart and lungs have sounded good each time so we’re hopeful that the treatments will work and Radar won’t have any future issues.

To learn more about heartworm treatment, go to the AHS’s website at the above link.

Hubby and I will have to be vigilant in our observation and care of Radar during his recovery. We will have to watch (and listen) for coughing, gagging, vomiting, diarrhea, and/or loss of appetite. And we will have to continue to restrict Radar’s exercise in order to minimize complications. We let him play with Ducky a little bit now, but he will have to be on complete crate rest once the treatments start. This is because when the adult worms die, they collapse and are pushed deeper into the smaller branches of the vessels that supply blood to the lungs. Since exercise increases blood flow to the lungs, it increases the likelihood that dead worms will block blood flow which can result in severe complications and possibly death. Makes it pretty obvious that we need to restrict Radar’s activity. We love this boy, and he’s even won Ducky over, so we’re going to do all we can to get him healthy and keep him healthy.

So, we thank you in advance for your POTP, prayers, and good wishes for Radar as he starts his heartworm treatments. We will keep you posted on his progress.

in my heart 4ever

Lovingly Dedicated To All My Furry Kids

Tag: challenges