A Lot of Firsts this Christmas

Zen and Zoey enjoyed their first Christmas, it would appear. Santa brought them new toys and treats; and l gave them a scrambled egg with their breakfast.

And since Zoey’s been doing so much better with her “potty” training these last few weeks, I let her play on the carpeted living room floor with Zen most of the day.

Vying for the same toy. 🤣

These two had us – my brother and me – laughing most of the day. And there weren’t any accidents on the carpet at all. (Though there were two on the linoleum kitchen floor that I blame myself for.)

On my first Christmas without him, I thought of Sam often throughout the day – missing his physical presence and wishing I could hear his laughter and see his smile as the puppies played with their toys. – I came close to tears a few times, but mostly just felt the hole in my space that Sam’s presence filled for most of the last 30 years. I know he was here in spirit, as were all our furry angels. It was that knowing they were here with us in spirit that mostly kept the tears away.

And on my first Christmas without sweet Ducky and darling Bogie, I called Zoey “Ducky” several times because of the stark similarities in their sweet natures. And once or twice I called Zen “Bogie” just because it came out of my mouth first. LOL. A fleeting thought of dear Bogie’s awful death brought tears to my eyes, but they dried quickly when I thought of how loving, sweet, and intuitive he was throughout his much-too-short life.

Sometime last night, as I was checking Facebook, I found this memory of Ducky from what should have been Radar’s first Christmas with us. I felt myself choke up a little remembering that sweet boy’s battle with heart worm disease in 2019. But at least he went ahead knowing he had a family who loved him dearly and would miss his love and presence in their life.

So, all in all, my first Christmas without my two cherished soulmates was a good one. Bittersweet memories of Christmases past mixed with new memories to treasure from Christmas present. Unlike Ebenezer Scrooge, the ghost of Christmas future didn’t visit me in my dreams so I have no idea what’s in store for me. And I’m not going to dwell on or worry about it.

So, in ending this post, I hope that all my family and friends had a wonderful Christmas, Hanukkah, or whatever holiday you celebrate at this time of year. May we ALL look forward to a happy and fulfilling new year.

Big Brother, Little Sister

11/23/202211/23/202212 Comments

Zen is the big brother that every little sister dreams about during her naps. He plays with Zoey so I can do my little chores.

He stays with her when I have to leave the room for a minute or two, or more.

When Zoey is doing something she shouldn’t be doing – like chewing on the kitchen table or chairs – Zen distracts her for me so she’ll stop. Or if Zoey’s teething on my big toe (through the sock), Zen will nip on one of her paws. She lets out a little yelp and goes after his paw. I wish I had a video of it. I’ll keep trying.

Zoey is sweet and loving, and feisty. I keep getting this image in my head of her telling Ducky that “Mama talks about you all the time.” To which Ducky replies “that’s why we sent you.” She truly reminds me of Ducky as the little demon dog I brought home from the shelter a little over ten years ago.

And Zen, my adoring son. He has grown up so much in these four months since hubby was admitted to the hospital! He’s much taller, much heavier, and still thin but not lanky like Bogie was at this age. He’s all muscle. He weighed 72.4 pounds when I had him weighed at the end of October; I’d be willing to bet he’s closer to 76 pounds now. And he’s maturing mentally, too. He still likes giving me hugs like a human. He stands on his two back legs and puts his front legs around my waist. 😍

When I see Zen being so very patient with Zoey as she bites and pulls on his tail, or pulls on his chest furs, or steals his chew toy, it reminds me of Callie with Shadow; and later on Callie’s patience with the much younger Ducky. And the brother-sister relationship between Radar and Ducky; and then Ducky’s unending patience with and adoration of Bogie. Bogie was forever pestering Ducky, but she was unwavering in her patience with him even as she looked to me for help.

Oh, did I mention that Zen watches Zoey in her crate at night, while I’m getting ready for bed?

It’s so sweet the way Zen watches over Zoey!

I let them play in the kitchen together. That way if Zen gets too excited and forgets he’s not as little as she is, Zoey can run under one of the chairs where he can’t reach her. He’ll keep barking at her for a minute or two, but he does settle down. Then Zoey comes out of her safe place and they start playing again. 💚🐾💜🐾

Short clip but you can get the idea.

Proud of Myself

08/08/202208/08/202219 Comments

Hi Everyone! Mama said I could paw today’s Awww Mondays blog hop post. Aren’t I a handsome pup? Mama says I’m as handsome as my angel brothers Radar and Bogie. 😇🐶😇🐶

I’m proud of myself cuz I climbed on to Mama’s chair instead of pestering her like I usually do when she sits on the sofa to check her emails in the morning. 🤣🐶

That’s it for me today. Mama and I hope all our family and friends have a great Monday!

Happy 10th Birthday Ducky! 🎂🎉❤️🐾

15 Comments

Oh my sweet baby girl, where have the years gone?! It seems like only yesterday when I first met you at the shelter!

And a couple of months later, you came home with me for good and changed all our lives forever.

You loved Callie and Shadow, and wanted to play constantly. You pestered the bejeepers out of them both; and were constantly getting into tussles with Shadow over one toy or another. Callie did her best to teach you good doggie manners, but for a while we wondered if you were paying attention.

On Shadow’s birthday a month later, we started taking you to doggie daycare (thank you, Sabine, for the recommendation). Shadow said it was the best birthday present we could have given her. 😁 Callie was grateful for the break, too.

When Callie left us three years later, you were as heartbroken as Daddy, Shadow and I were but you got us through it. Especially Shadow. You became her friend and constant companion. You still tussled with her over toys at times; but you showed us that you had been paying attention to Callie all those times. You stayed by Shadow’s side when she was so sick at the end. You “protected” her in the yard, and gave her kisses on the head at times.

After Shadow reunited with Callie, you helped Daddy and I heal. You needed a playmate, though, so we fostered Radar with all intention of adopting him. You two hit it off right from the start. Not just sister and brother, but best and most special friends.

When Radar left us to join Callie and Shadow, we were all devastated. You looked for your buddy constantly, and the sadness in your eyes when you couldn’t find him tore my heart apart. Yet, as you had when your sisters went ahead, you pulled Daddy and me through it.

When we brought Bogie home last year, you weren’t sure what to make of him. We had promised you another brother to play with, but I’m not sure you were quite ready for an 8-week-old puppy. You soon found out what “karma” is, even though you don’t understand me when I tell you.

You’ve come full circle, little girl. You started out your life with us as the little sister who was a constant pest. And, until a few weeks ago, you were the older sister who tolerated a much younger sibling’s constant pestering.

Once again you’re an only dog, trying to help Daddy and Mama to heal from yet another devastating loss. And missing your favorite pest. It has taken you all this time to realize Bogie’s not coming home in his earthly form. You still look for him at times. Or maybe you sense his spirit is here with us, wanting to play with and love on us and to be loved on.

We love you Ducky. We love you to the moon and back. We love you more than any words could ever express. You’re our sweet baby girl, our princess, our earth angel with paws instead of wings. You’re our precious, loving, sweet senior puppy.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LITTLE GIRL!!!!

Happy 8th Gotcha Day Ducky!!

09/17/202009/15/202019 Comments

It’s hard to believe you’ve been with us for eight years! I remember that first day like it was yesterday.

You were so darn cute! Even though you were – as Dr. Steve named you a week later – a “little wild child”, you had stolen our hearts that weekend we fostered you.

Callie and – especially – Shadow didn’t know what to make of you. You had turned their calm, quiet lives upside down and inside out that weekend. And it took them a few days to figure out you were here to stay this time.

You drove us all to distraction at times. As far as Shadow was concerned, your first day at A Dog’s Day Out was the best birthday present I could ever have given her. 🤣 You came home too tired to be a pest.

Fast forward less than three years, and you helped Shadow, Daddy, and me through our grief over losing Callie to the lymphoma. And three and a half years later, you helped us through saying goodbye to Shadow as she reunited with Callie.

You were thrilled to have a friend again when we added Radar to our little family. He became your best friend and brother almost overnight. You two had a blast together every day.

Losing Radar to the heartworm disease just a few days after his third month with us had begun was devastating. All three of us were in a fog of disbelief, of confusion, and of heartache. I still get leaky-eyed sometimes when I think of our Golden Angel Boy. But you came to our rescue again. You helped us lift that fog.

These last several months you’ve been dealing with those hind-end issues. You poor girl. You are so stoical. Thanks to the Your End of the Lead course (YEL 2.0) that I’ve been taking – especially the community of likeminded folks who helped me pick up on your clues – I was able to realize you needed veterinary attention. Dr. Steve, Dr. Simpson, and the entire staff at Sunrise Animal Hospital has been wonderful – no surprise! – in their care of you and teamwork with me to get you feeling better. Your issues have decreased substantially and continue to improve daily.

A few months ago, I wrote a post where I called you my little earth angel. And that proves to be true every minute of every day. I don’t know what I would do without you, Ducky. I don’t want to know. You – like your sisters before you – have become my canine soulmate. I (and Daddy) love you to the ends of the universe and back.

So, here’s to you Miss Ducky! My sometime wild child and always loving baby girl. ❤️🐾❤️🐾❤️🐾

Radar’s New Purpose

12 Comments

Each dog has a purpose. Isn’t that what the book and movie said? Radar’s purpose with us was to help us all heal from the loss of his sisters and to fill empty spaces in our lives….

Hubby keeps asking “when are we getting another Golden?” I keep saying “when the right one comes along.” Right now my heart still hurts from the sudden loss of this sweet boy….

Ducky needs a new playmate, another brother, companion, friend. And I’m seriously open to getting her one. In fact, I promised her that we would get her another one. WHEN Callie, Shadow, and Radar find us the right one. I’m sure they will at some point. Hopefully sooner rather than later.

I miss all my furry angels. They were each special to me for different reasons. But this boy?

I have to admit that there was something extra special about him. Maybe because he was the latest one. Maybe because Ducky accepted him so easily. Maybe because despite whatever he went through in his “previous life”, he was still trusting of humans, loving, and easy-going. Maybe all those things plus some I haven’t thought of yet. Whatever the reason – or reasons – he was the perfect fit for all three of us and we miss him every minute of every day.

We’ve gotten back into our old routine of not having a set routine, and gotten comfortable with it; but I would gladly give up the old routine if it meant having Radar here with us, happy and on his way to being healthy. But that’s not going to happen.

We will always miss Radar, just as we will always miss Kissy, Callie, and Shadow. There’s an emptiness in our little corner of the world that he was filling while he was with us.

Now it’s up to Radar to help his sisters find us another boy to welcome into our home and hearts. His new purpose is to send us a new boy to pick up where he left off. Not to replace him (because no other dog ever could), but to carry on his mission.

He Changed Everything

12/26/201917 Comments

“Every now and then a dog will come into your life and change everything.”

Radar was that dog for us.

Now before you say something like “what about Kissy, Callie, Shadow, and Ducky?” let me tell you that we still love each of our furry angels and our little earth angel and always will. Each of them holds her own special place in our hearts. Each was and is a source of joy and unconditional love, and always will be. They all came into our lives as puppies and we watched them grow into wonderful adult dogs.

Radar came to us as an already full grown adult dog so we didn’t get to enjoy his puppyhood. But when we first met him, it felt as though he had known us all his life. He was doing the Snoopy happy dance from the moment he saw hubby get out of the car. He gave me his paw and let Ducky “check him out.”I knew from the very first moment that Radar was meant to be with us for the rest of his life.

Radar’s previous life will never be known to any of us. He was found wandering the neighborhood of a friend of his first foster mom. It’s anyone’s guess how long the poor boy had been on his own. YET, he was happy, joyful, gentle, sweet, and full of love for every one who took him in, cared for him, and showed him any amount of kindness. No amount of shyness to this boy’s demeanor. He was an equal opportunity lover of humans and other dogs.

So what did he change?

Well, for one thing, he was the first male dog I’ve ever had. I grew up with female poodles; my own first dog (Kissy) was female; and all three dogs hubby and I have had before Radar (Callie, Shadow, and Ducky) were/are females.

Don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against male dogs. My brother’s dog, Boozy, is a male and our granddog, Max, is a male. I love them both. I just stuck with what I knew from my life so far. Females. When we took Radar in as our foster-to-adopt, I had no idea how Ducky would act with him once he came to live with us. But Radar needed us, and we all needed him.

There was something special about our boy. Whatever his previous life was like, it didn’t rob him of his joy of life, his love of humans and other dogs, or his innate sweetness. He was pure joy. Even his heartworm disease couldn’t completely take that from him. He tried his best to wag his tail when he saw us in the ER clinic exam room that awful, heart-shattering day.

And me rescue an adult Golden Retriever instead of getting a puppy? A few years ago I’d have said “no way!” Radar – along with my lack of enthusiasm for house training another dog – changed that too. I wanted another Golden but I wanted one closer to Ducky’s age. Radar was such a special boy that I can’t see myself getting another dog who doesn’t need a second chance at life. While at this point in our life we can’t emotionally deal with taking in another unhealthy dog, we do want another Golden who can keep up with Ducky and become her best friend, companion, and loving sibling.

And ten months ago – when Shadow first reunited with Callie – I didn’t think I could even foster another Golden before a year had passed. I was even hesitant to put in our adoption application at first. But when we met Radar, I knew he was meant to be with us for the rest of his life. During those two months plus that he was with us, he helped me heal from the loss of Shadow, Callie, and Kissy. Oh, I still miss them – and always will – but the pain isn’t as sharp.

And he did something else to my heart. He opened it to letting him join Callie and Shadow when his time came so that we could give another Golden Boy a second chance at a happy life. My heart still hurts from the pain of losing Radar so suddenly. But I know when the time is right he and his sisters will send us another Golden Boy to whom we will open our hearts and home. Another Golden Boy who needs us as much as we need him.

We’re joining Brian’s Home Blog for the Thankful Thursday blog hop.

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Christmas Cactus for Radar

12/13/201908/31/202011 Comments

I can’t believe it’s nearly a week since Radar joined Callie and Shadow in Heaven.

Anyway, last Sunday after church hubby and I made a quick stop at our local grocery store. As we walked towards the bakery, we stopped at a tabletop display of Christmas Cactus plants. There were red ones and these white and pink ones. Hubby and I both needed cheering up, so we bought this one in memory of our boy.

More of the flowers have bloomed since Sunday. I like to think it’s because Radar likes our choice and is giving us a sign that he’s okay. I can just imagine him wagging his tail as Callie and Shadow greeted him at the Rainbow Bridge. That tail of his was almost always wagging! He was such a happy boy!

We are going to do our best to make this Christmas a merry one. Callie, Shadow, and Radar would want it that way. The last few years we’ve had a rather quiet Christmas without Callie. And until Radar came along in October, I didn’t feel much like celebrating without our sweet Shadow as well. But Radar brought so much joy back into all our lives that we have to find a way to keep that feeling alive. Radar and his sisters would want us to be at least cheerful.

Radar is back home now. I’m not one for setting up shrines, but his ashes are in this beautiful wooden box. And we also have this clay paw print.

Our boy – Ducky’s most special friend – is back home and I know his sweet, happy spirit is nearby. And I know Radar will help Callie and Shadow find us a new friend/brother for Ducky. The three of them know what we need and I trust their judgement. When all the hustle and bustle of the holiday season is over, we’ll have our 3 Golden Angels actively start the search for our next Golden Earth Angel.

So, as Radar’s Christmas Cactus blooms, we will take it as a sign that he is, indeed, here with us. And we will celebrate the joy of his life with us along with the true meaning of Christmas.

Gone Too Soon

19 Comments

Hubby, Ducky and I are devastated. Our sweet foster boy has gone ahead. He joined our family on October 4th and on December 7th he joined Callie and Shadow in Heaven. Sweet, loving Radar. Ducky’s best doggie friend and brother. She loved Callie and Shadow dearly; but Radar was her most special friend. He tolerated her antics and she willingly shared her toys and our attention with him.

He was our boy. He was our first-ever male dog, our friend. He was an equal-opportunity lover boy. He loved hubby and me equally.

He learned quickly that “Daddy” is the soft touch and buddy; and “Mommy” is the cook, nurse, teacher, nurturer, and friend.

Radar fit into our little family perfectly. He was gentle with Ducky, played with her, shared his toys with her, gave her space when she was feeling “snarky”, and let her get attention from us when she felt neglected.

He loved us humans equally. He loved to stand, sit or lay down between our chairs so we could both pet him at the same time. Loving on him was therapeutic for both of us. And he knew he had his “fur-ever” home and family. He trusted us and we trusted him. I had plans to work with him to earn his CGC (Canine Good Citizen) title after he finished his heartworm treatments. And possibly therapy certifications. He had the perfect personality/temperament for both.

Our boy is gone. Our special boy, Ducky’s most special friend. Ducky is as heartbroken as we are. The price of love.

Radar will always be in our hearts. Our love for him and his for us will help us help each other to heal. Ducky, hubby, and I will heal. Radar’s spirit – like Kissy’s, Callie’s and Shadow’s spirits – will always be nearby. He and the girls will watch over us. They will send us another friend to love and welcome into the family when the time is right.

A Thankful Heart

11/28/201912/26/201912 Comments

First of all, Happy Thanksgiving to all!!

There are so many things I’m thankful for that I couldn’t list them all, but here are some….

1. Family near and far.

2. Friends near and far, online and off.

3. The opportunity to foster-to-adopt this wonderful Golden boy we’ve named Radar.

4. Our health, a roof over our heads and food on our table, and a good life with hubby.

5. So much more!