Happy 1st Birthday Zoey!!! ๐ŸŽˆ๐Ÿฅณ๐Ÿฆด

๐Ÿ’œ The Birthday Girl ๐Ÿ’œ

It’s hard to believe that this sweet, loving, precious angel-with-paws was born a year ago today! And it’s hard to believe that she was once this small….

Zoey & Siblings 2 Days Old

I remember trying to “will” her to be born the day before, on Zen’s half-year birthday, so I’d have another pair of puppies born exactly six months apart. Well, one day’s not a big deal. ๐Ÿ˜Š

Long-time readers may (or may not) remember that my first two Golden babies were born exactly six months apart…Callie on April 16, 2004 and Shadow on October 16, 2004. (And their Gotcha Days were also exactly 6 months apart, June 7th and Dec. 7th.) But I’m drifting here, so back to Zoey.

This sweet little girl has brought Zen and me so much joy! She’s just what we needed…Zen needed a playmate and I needed another little girl, but one who would snuggle with me like her angel-brother Bogie used to. My two Z Kids bonded right from the start into a mutual adoration society.

Zoey’s First Night Home

And as she grew, big brother Zen let her climb all over him…

๐Ÿ’š Sibling Love ๐Ÿ’œ

Zoey still climbs all over her brother and loves to curl up and snuggle with him….

โค๏ธ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿพโค๏ธ

Happy First Birthday my sweet and sassy little girl! Zen and I love you to the end of the universe and back! You complete our little family. Today is your day. Thankfully the sun is shining again after yesterday’s rain made Zen’s half-year birthday kinda gloomy – weather-wise only – so we can spend time playing in the sunshine like we all love to do. โ˜€๏ธโ˜€๏ธโ˜€๏ธ

A Very Thankful Thursday

How appropriate that the 14th day of this month should fall on a Thankful Thursday! Why? Because it’s a very special day in my life…it’s the Z Kids’ Monthly Gotcha Day! Zen has been with me for 16 months; and Zoey has been with us for 10 months. And in less than a week, Zen will be 18 months old and Zoey will be a full year old. But more about birthdays next week.

I can hardly believe my Zen has been here 16 months already! Most of last year was so dark; but this sweet boy was my one ray of sunshine after Ducky got her wings. Knowing Zen was on the way is what kept me going. And when he was born on St. Patrick’s Day, he became my little leprechaun, my Golden Boy.

Mama’s Special Angel with Paws

He grew up to be my best friend; my Ducky’s facilitator – she visits me often through the baby brother she picked out for me; my guardian angel with paws; my watch dog; my confidant; my helper; my mostly independent, self-confident hooligan. And a wonderful big brother to Zoey.

Big Brother/Little Sister

And, while Zen stayed here at home with his human uncle, I drove up to his Golden Family’s house to get Zoey. I had hoped that Zoey would be born on Zen’s first half birthday, but she had her own plan. That’s okay. I could still make her Gotcha Day the same day of the month as Zen’s. โค๏ธ๐Ÿพ And here she is as that 8-week-old puppy.

Baby Zoey

She’s nearly a year old! I can’t believe how fast these 10 months have flown by! She’s growing up, but she’s still small for her age. I love how her tail feathering is so “floofy”! It’s hard to see in my photos of her, but here she is now…

My little “tomboy” loves the dirt!

This little girl is my kindred spirit…as much a “tomboy” as I was when I was a little girl. I climbed trees with the boys next door; Zoey’s happiest playing catch in the dirt and dust of the back yard with her brother.

Happy (Monthly) Gotcha Day my sweet hooligans!! I love you both with my whole heart! ๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿพ

My Z Kids Make Me Laugh

I wasnโ€™t going to write a blog post today, but then I caught a glimpse of how Zoey was positioned on the floor by my chair. And I decided I had to share the sillinessโ€ฆ.

Zen had a toy. And because he had it, Zoey wanted it. Now that I think of it, it goes both ways; but Zen is usually easier to appease with the offer of the duplicate toy laying six inches -or feet – away from him. Or even with a different toy altogether. Sometimes he just gives in, lets Zoey have the toy, and gets up to walk away.

Now theyโ€™ve both abandoned the toy in favor of trying to curry favor with their Uncle Doug. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Be Careful What You Wish For!

I’m sure you’ve all heard that warning before. But have you ever paid much attention to it? I know I didn’t, really. Until one morning at the end of last month …..

For most of March and April, I was burning out from being “Mom” to the Z Kids without the help of a “Daddy.” I was lamenting the days before Zoey joined Zen and me.

Don’t get me wrong. I love Zoey dearly and wouldn’t give her up for anything other than her own well-being. But her isolation anxiety was taking its toll on me, on Zen, and on our relationship. And it was – of course – taking its toll on Zoey herself and our relationship with each other. Even some stress on Zen’s and Zoey’s relationship with each other.

So back to my lamenting, my burning out. I was tired. I was frustrated. I was sad and scared. And I wasn’t eating enough of the right foods. TBH, I wasn’t eating enough, period. And I was constantly saying to Zen that “I love Zoey dearly, but I miss the days when it was just the two of us.”

On the morning of April 25th I woke up early, and as usual, started to sit up in bed. But I was so dizzy I had to lay back down. I waited a moment and tried again. Same thing. Then I started to panic. How would I take care of the puppies if I couldn’t even take care of myself. I called my friend, and the pups’ “Grandpa,” and left a message in his voicemail. Then I tried again to sit up. Same dizziness. I laid back down and checked my heart rate. Normal. Waited another ten minutes or so and checked again. Normal again. Still dizzy but not quite as bad. No nausea, sweats, or aches and pains, just dizzy.

Called my friend again. He said he’d get ready to come down to get Zen and Zoey, so the panic subsided. Still a little dizzy but not as bad. Almost an hour had passed. The dizziness was subsiding as well. Zen was on the bed with me, laying right next to me. Zoey was in her crate next to the bed, waiting patiently for me to let her out. Once the dizziness had passed, I got dressed and let Zoey out of her crate. We went into the kitchen, slowly, but I felt normal and steady on my feet. Then my friend’s daughter arrived and we sat and talked for a few minutes.

We took the pups out to the yard to relieve themselves and play some. My earthly guardian angel was on the way and his daughter had to leave for an appointment. But I was feeling 100% better and fully steady on my feet. And Zen continued to keep a watchful eye on me while he and Zoey played in the living room.

My friend arrived and we sat and talked for a bit while I ate the breakfast biscuit he had picked up for me on his way here. He was still willing to take both pups home with him; but I knew I’d go out of my mind if I stayed home completely alone. So he took Zoey home with him and Zen stayed with me.

Zoey stayed with her “Grandpa” and other doggie family for a few days while I pulled myself together. Zen watched me like a hawk. When I had to go to the store to get food, our regular pet sitter stayed with him. The rest of the time I spent here at home, making sure I ate three balanced meals a day and spending time with Zen. And texting with my friend, sending photos back and forth.

Those few days Zoey was with her Grandpa, I truly paid attention to that old line about being careful what you wish for. And I thanked God endlessly for giving me the warning that He had. And I thanked my friend, his daughter, and another dear friend (who had brought me some homemade comfort food later that day) for being there for me – once again – in my hours of need. I honestly don’t know what I would have done if I had had to fend for myself that day.

I’m very careful now about what I wish for; and I’m very careful about taking care of myself as well as the Z Kids. And I constantly thank God and all my guardian angels for watching over us all. the. time. I’m feeling much better now, exactly a month later. And Zen keeps a watchful eye on me still, enlisting Zoey’s aid when he needs a break. I am thankful for these two earth angels of mine, too. Our relationships – mine with each of them separately and theirs with each other – have improved tremendously.

With that all said, I’m linking to the Thankful Thursday blog hop. Thankful for ALL my blessings, especially the ones I tend to take for granted at times.

Three Heavenly Birthdays

My three most recently departed loves have heavenly birthdays coming up this month. I will miss them all until the day we are reunited. And I’m sure many more memories will leak from my eyes between now and then; but this is a celebratory post, not a sad one.

In birthdate order, Bogie will be 2 years old on February 6th; Sam will be 73 on February 9th; and Ducky will be 11 years old on February 13th.

Sweet Bogie, our angel disguised as a dog

This boy’s time on earth was cut short through a tragic accident that took him from us. ๐Ÿ’” BUT during his time on earth, he filled our lives with so much joy, love, and laughter that we felt his loss perhaps more acutely than we might have otherwise. This boy was truly an angel on earth disguised as a dog. ๐Ÿ’™ He knew instinctively, even at such a young age, exactly when his (human) daddy needed him; and went to him without hesitation to give love and be loved upon. And in the mornings, while Ducky slept in my chair, Bogie snuggled with me on the couch. Most of the rest of his day was spent playing with the older sister he adored and who adored him in return.

Sam, the love of my life, my human soulmate

This photo was taken last year, at our favorite restaurant, Schwaben House, where we had his birthday lunch. It was a happy day for us both, as his dementia demons were leaving him alone. It is my favorite of more then-recent photos of the man I’d married 28 years earlier. He was more himself that day than he had been in many previous days. โค๏ธ More himself than he would ever be again after that day. I will always gratefully remember the way he was that day.

Ducky, my sweet, sassy soulmate, my heart dog.

Ducky came into my life while I was taking a course to become a dog obedience training instructor. I was in the externship stage; and I was volunteering at the animal shelter, with the mission of helping the dogs become more adoptable. Ducky was the second of my charges. (The first, a pittie mix named Honey, was adopted a few days earlier.) Sweet Ducky stole my heart the instant I first saw her in her puppy-room kennel. And the rest of her story is now history. She wrapped my heart around her little paw and decided that – one way or the other – I was going to be her new mama. A few months later, she got her wish. We spent the next nine plus years working and playing together to ease her reactivity. And her older sisters taught her how to be a family dog instead of a kennel-bound shelter dog. Our bond grew into a soul connection that has transcended time and space. โค๏ธโค๏ธ

So, on this Thankful Thursday, I wish my three loves a happy birth month. I am so thankful you were each a big part of my life. I miss your physical presence; but I know you are with me always.

Thankful for My Z Kids

On this second Thankful Thursday of 2023 – and truthfully, every day – I am thankful for my “Z Kids”, Zen and Zoey. They make missing their angel brothers and sisters much less painful for me.

Big Brother/Little Sister Mutual Adoration Society

Sometimes they exasperate me to the end of my patience rope so that I have to tie a new knot and hang on. Yet they seem to know somehow that I’m still grieving (the losses I suffered in 2022) and forgive my outbursts. Especially when I instantly melt into tears of apology.

Most times they make me laugh with their puppy antics or crazy sleeping positions.

Kitchen Playtime
In my lap in my recliner
After-play nap time

Good Riddance 2022! Welcome 2023! And thank you Ducky and Bogie for picking the two perfect puppies for your grieving mama. They make me laugh and smile when I need it most. And they give me kisses when my tears flow.

Normally I would add the paragraph and links here to join the Thankful Thursday Blog Hop; but my phone’s WordPress app has been a pain in the arse these last few months when I try to do so. So I’ll just say go to our host’s blog at http://BriansHomeBlog.com and link your own post from there.

Introducing Zoey

Zen has a new sibling. I’ll be writing more about her in the days to come, but for now here she is …

Our First Selfie Together

Don’t bother looking at that horrible picture of me! Look at my little girl! Isn’t she precious?!

To look at that sweet little face, you would think she and Zen were litter mates. All that cream-colored, wavy fur around her face! And the smudge muzzle! Be still my heart! But they are actually first cousins – their mothers are full sisters – and in fact Zoey is Bogie’s half sister (same mother, different father).

When we went to meet little Zoey about a week ago, I had my brother take a family picture of Zen, Zoey and me.

Zen, Zoey and Me

I’ll be posting more photos soon – when I have better ones to share – and hopefully Zen won’t mind sharing me with his little sister/cousin.

Missing My (Human) Soulmate

It is with very deep sadness that I must tell you my beloved husband, Sam, passed peacefully in his sleep early Friday morning, October 7th. ๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ˜ข.

Remembering Sam’s better days.

Most – if not all – of my long time readers know (but may not remember) that Sam was diagnosed with early-onset dementia in June of 2018. Back then it was still mild enough that Sam could enjoy a sense of independence. As the years passed, however, his cognitive abilities became so impaired that the doctors insisted he not be allowed to drive any more. That loss of independence really bothered him. Then Bogie had his traumatic accident, and a month later we lost Ducky to the sudden heart failure. The two losses coming so close together devastated us both and really started Sam’s downward spiral.

Before the dementia took control of Sam’s mind, we had a soul-to-soul connection, an affinity with each other that carried us through many trivial arguments over this or that. And it helped me separate the Sam I love from the dementia-induced alter ego who angered me, disappointed me, and hurt my feelings so often.

The real Sam was a kind-hearted, loving, friendly soul who never met a stranger. The real Sam loved his family – including each one of our many fur babies – with his whole heart, and we all love him. Now Sam and the fur kids (except Zen obviously) are all together again. Sam is no longer being chased relentlessly by his dementia demons; and all the earthly anxieties that plagued Ducky when Sam’s demons were lurking about are gone. So now they can all relax and enjoy each other’s company while they wait for Zen and me to join them.

I miss the real Sam. I know his spirit is with me, but I miss his physical presence. I miss our morning hugs, sitting in his lap with my head against his shoulder when I was sad, our walks around the back yard. I miss our day trips to the mountains with the pups. I miss his smile, his laugh, his hand reaching for mine. I miss watching him interact with the dogs. And I will miss him and each of them until it’s my turn to join them.

Grief is the price we pay for love. I know the pain of this loss will ebb and flow. I’m prepared for that. So I’ll close this post with a simple requestโ€ฆprayers for anyone and everyone impacted in some way by dementia. It is a horribly cruel disease, worse than cancer in my opinion.

I don’t have the obituary quite ready yet; but I can tell you that we will have a simple memorial service for Sam at our church a week from Saturday. For anyone who wants more details, just send me a message or email.

Thankful Every Day

Where to start? I have so very much to be thankful for every day! I don’t always write in my gratitude journal – actually it’s been over a week since my last entry – but I’m certain God knows what is in my heart.

So, I’ll start with thanking God for all my blessings. That’s a good start. I’ll be honest – I don’t always understand why God answers my prayers the way He does, but I’ve learned to trust those answers.

The next “thing” I’m thankful for isn’t a thing but a person. And that person is our friend, Chuck. Bogie’s and Zen’s “Grandpa Chuck”. One of the nicest persons you could ever hope to meet. Once again he came to our rescue when hubby and I needed help with Zen. And while he had the little guy, he and our doggy family taught Zen some doggy manners and how to “chill out”. Now that Zen is home, he is doing so much better than last time. For the sake of our privacy, I won’t delve into details.

I’m always thankful for the support of my brother. He is always “there” for me, one way for another, and has been since the day I was born. And I’m thankful for family – those already in Heaven and those still here, including all the dogs who were part of our family – from our childhood as well as since we started our own families.

Of course I’m thankful for my hubby. I love him with my whole heart and unconditionally. He’s been my best friend and constant companion, not to mention “Daddy” to all the dogs who have owned me since I moved out of my childhood home.

I’m always thankful, too, for all our wonderful friends – both “real life” and online! Some of my favorite people are those whom I’ve only met through our wonderful pet blogging community. You mean a great deal to me.

And last but not least, I am thankful for all of my “fur babies” of the past. They all taught me so much, each in her or his own way, and with so much unconditional love woven into each lesson. And, of course, I am thankful for sweet Zen. He is such a good pup – from wonderful, sweet parents – and he is trying to teach me patience. Patience is a virtue I struggle with a good deal. “All good things come to those who wait”; but sometimes that wait is excruciatingly long. Zen is doing his best.