Tag: family

Three Heavenly Birthdays

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My three most recently departed loves have heavenly birthdays coming up this month. I will miss them all until the day we are reunited. And I’m sure many more memories will leak from my eyes between now and then; but this is a celebratory post, not a sad one.

In birthdate order, Bogie will be 2 years old on February 6th; Sam will be 73 on February 9th; and Ducky will be 11 years old on February 13th.

Sweet Bogie, our angel disguised as a dog

This boy’s time on earth was cut short through a tragic accident that took him from us. 💔 BUT during his time on earth, he filled our lives with so much joy, love, and laughter that we felt his loss perhaps more acutely than we might have otherwise. This boy was truly an angel on earth disguised as a dog. 💙 He knew instinctively, even at such a young age, exactly when his (human) daddy needed him; and went to him without hesitation to give love and be loved upon. And in the mornings, while Ducky slept in my chair, Bogie snuggled with me on the couch. Most of the rest of his day was spent playing with the older sister he adored and who adored him in return.

Sam, the love of my life, my human soulmate

This photo was taken last year, at our favorite restaurant, Schwaben House, where we had his birthday lunch. It was a happy day for us both, as his dementia demons were leaving him alone. It is my favorite of more then-recent photos of the man I’d married 28 years earlier. He was more himself that day than he had been in many previous days. ❤️ More himself than he would ever be again after that day. I will always gratefully remember the way he was that day.

Ducky, my sweet, sassy soulmate, my heart dog.

Ducky came into my life while I was taking a course to become a dog obedience training instructor. I was in the externship stage; and I was volunteering at the animal shelter, with the mission of helping the dogs become more adoptable. Ducky was the second of my charges. (The first, a pittie mix named Honey, was adopted a few days earlier.) Sweet Ducky stole my heart the instant I first saw her in her puppy-room kennel. And the rest of her story is now history. She wrapped my heart around her little paw and decided that – one way or the other – I was going to be her new mama. A few months later, she got her wish. We spent the next nine plus years working and playing together to ease her reactivity. And her older sisters taught her how to be a family dog instead of a kennel-bound shelter dog. Our bond grew into a soul connection that has transcended time and space. ❤️❤️

So, on this Thankful Thursday, I wish my three loves a happy birth month. I am so thankful you were each a big part of my life. I miss your physical presence; but I know you are with me always.

Thankful for My Z Kids

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On this second Thankful Thursday of 2023 – and truthfully, every day – I am thankful for my “Z Kids”, Zen and Zoey. They make missing their angel brothers and sisters much less painful for me.

Big Brother/Little Sister Mutual Adoration Society

Sometimes they exasperate me to the end of my patience rope so that I have to tie a new knot and hang on. Yet they seem to know somehow that I’m still grieving (the losses I suffered in 2022) and forgive my outbursts. Especially when I instantly melt into tears of apology.

Most times they make me laugh with their puppy antics or crazy sleeping positions.

Kitchen Playtime
In my lap in my recliner
After-play nap time

Good Riddance 2022! Welcome 2023! And thank you Ducky and Bogie for picking the two perfect puppies for your grieving mama. They make me laugh and smile when I need it most. And they give me kisses when my tears flow.

Normally I would add the paragraph and links here to join the Thankful Thursday Blog Hop; but my phone’s WordPress app has been a pain in the arse these last few months when I try to do so. So I’ll just say go to our host’s blog at http://BriansHomeBlog.com and link your own post from there.

Introducing Zoey

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Zen has a new sibling. I’ll be writing more about her in the days to come, but for now here she is …

Our First Selfie Together

Don’t bother looking at that horrible picture of me! Look at my little girl! Isn’t she precious?!

To look at that sweet little face, you would think she and Zen were litter mates. All that cream-colored, wavy fur around her face! And the smudge muzzle! Be still my heart! But they are actually first cousins – their mothers are full sisters – and in fact Zoey is Bogie’s half sister (same mother, different father).

When we went to meet little Zoey about a week ago, I had my brother take a family picture of Zen, Zoey and me.

Zen, Zoey and Me

I’ll be posting more photos soon – when I have better ones to share – and hopefully Zen won’t mind sharing me with his little sister/cousin.

Missing My (Human) Soulmate

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It is with very deep sadness that I must tell you my beloved husband, Sam, passed peacefully in his sleep early Friday morning, October 7th. 💔😢.

Remembering Sam’s better days.

Most – if not all – of my long time readers know (but may not remember) that Sam was diagnosed with early-onset dementia in June of 2018. Back then it was still mild enough that Sam could enjoy a sense of independence. As the years passed, however, his cognitive abilities became so impaired that the doctors insisted he not be allowed to drive any more. That loss of independence really bothered him. Then Bogie had his traumatic accident, and a month later we lost Ducky to the sudden heart failure. The two losses coming so close together devastated us both and really started Sam’s downward spiral.

Before the dementia took control of Sam’s mind, we had a soul-to-soul connection, an affinity with each other that carried us through many trivial arguments over this or that. And it helped me separate the Sam I love from the dementia-induced alter ego who angered me, disappointed me, and hurt my feelings so often.

The real Sam was a kind-hearted, loving, friendly soul who never met a stranger. The real Sam loved his family – including each one of our many fur babies – with his whole heart, and we all love him. Now Sam and the fur kids (except Zen obviously) are all together again. Sam is no longer being chased relentlessly by his dementia demons; and all the earthly anxieties that plagued Ducky when Sam’s demons were lurking about are gone. So now they can all relax and enjoy each other’s company while they wait for Zen and me to join them.

I miss the real Sam. I know his spirit is with me, but I miss his physical presence. I miss our morning hugs, sitting in his lap with my head against his shoulder when I was sad, our walks around the back yard. I miss our day trips to the mountains with the pups. I miss his smile, his laugh, his hand reaching for mine. I miss watching him interact with the dogs. And I will miss him and each of them until it’s my turn to join them.

Grief is the price we pay for love. I know the pain of this loss will ebb and flow. I’m prepared for that. So I’ll close this post with a simple request…prayers for anyone and everyone impacted in some way by dementia. It is a horribly cruel disease, worse than cancer in my opinion.

I don’t have the obituary quite ready yet; but I can tell you that we will have a simple memorial service for Sam at our church a week from Saturday. For anyone who wants more details, just send me a message or email.

Thankful Every Day

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Where to start? I have so very much to be thankful for every day! I don’t always write in my gratitude journal – actually it’s been over a week since my last entry – but I’m certain God knows what is in my heart.

So, I’ll start with thanking God for all my blessings. That’s a good start. I’ll be honest – I don’t always understand why God answers my prayers the way He does, but I’ve learned to trust those answers.

The next “thing” I’m thankful for isn’t a thing but a person. And that person is our friend, Chuck. Bogie’s and Zen’s “Grandpa Chuck”. One of the nicest persons you could ever hope to meet. Once again he came to our rescue when hubby and I needed help with Zen. And while he had the little guy, he and our doggy family taught Zen some doggy manners and how to “chill out”. Now that Zen is home, he is doing so much better than last time. For the sake of our privacy, I won’t delve into details.

I’m always thankful for the support of my brother. He is always “there” for me, one way for another, and has been since the day I was born. And I’m thankful for family – those already in Heaven and those still here, including all the dogs who were part of our family – from our childhood as well as since we started our own families.

Of course I’m thankful for my hubby. I love him with my whole heart and unconditionally. He’s been my best friend and constant companion, not to mention “Daddy” to all the dogs who have owned me since I moved out of my childhood home.

I’m always thankful, too, for all our wonderful friends – both “real life” and online! Some of my favorite people are those whom I’ve only met through our wonderful pet blogging community. You mean a great deal to me.

And last but not least, I am thankful for all of my “fur babies” of the past. They all taught me so much, each in her or his own way, and with so much unconditional love woven into each lesson. And, of course, I am thankful for sweet Zen. He is such a good pup – from wonderful, sweet parents – and he is trying to teach me patience. Patience is a virtue I struggle with a good deal. “All good things come to those who wait”; but sometimes that wait is excruciatingly long. Zen is doing his best.

Zen’s Chillin’ with Grandpa

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My little boy is spending some time with his grandpa, doggie mama, auntie, and cousins – being taught doggie manners by five adult dogs in the same house. And getting a break from the stress of dealing with his human daddy’s dementia. And giving me a break from his teething. 🐊 🦈

Exploring Grandpa’s Yard
The room where he spent the first 8 weeks of his life.

“Grandpa Chuck” has been enjoying Zen’s time with him, too. I get glowing reports – and photos and/or videos – daily. Zen is being an absolutely perfect house guest. No teething, no biting, and no “accidents” to clean up. He did need a bath though after spending part of last Saturday helping his grandpa wash his truck. 🤪

Meanwhile, I’m here at home, working with hubby’s dementia doctor, trying to help him deal with the challenges of the dementia. I’m alone physically but I do have emotional support in the form of family and friends. And I can call our medical professionals any time I have questions.

I miss my canine emotional support team (Ducky and Bogie) and my “little ray of sunshine” (Zen) but I’m managing. At least I don’t have to worry about any of them getting hurt or feeling neglected.

My K9 Emotional Support Team
My “Little Ray of Sunshine”

So, on this Friday after Thankful Thursday, I’m thankful for caring, supportive medical professionals, family members, and friends (both online and IRL). More thankful than any words can convey.

Have a great weekend everyone! If it’s hot where you live – like it is here – stay cool and hydrated! If it’s cold, then keep warm (and hydrated). Love you all! Thanks for being our friends!

Thankful Thursday

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Tomorrow will be two weeks since the horrible accident that took Bogie’s earthly life from us. And in so doing left our hearts shattered yet again. But we are thankful to have had this goofy, sweet, loving boy in our lives for the short time he was here.

Hi Mama!!

We’re thankful for a merciful God who didn’t allow our boy to suffer the pain of insurmountable internal injuries.

We’re thankful for all the love, kind words, and emotional support we have received from family and friends, both offline and online, many of whom we have never met face-to-face. And I’m thankful for the sweet, thoughtful gifts from two of my fellow bloggers – you know who you are.

We’re thankful for the strangers who DID stop to try to help Bogie and us. Good samaritans with caring souls.

We’re thankful for our wonderful vets and staff at Haywood Road Animal Hospital who so lovingly and compassionately comforted us and handled all the final details of making sure Bogie would be coming home to be with us forever.

We’re thankful for the St. Francis Pet Crematorium staff who made sure Bogie’s earthly form was treated with the dignity and compassion he deserved. And his cremains returned to us with heartfelt expression of sympathy for our loss.

And, of course, we are thankful for Ducky. Our sweet girl. Our angel with paws instead of wings. Our precious furry companion who does her best every day to make us smile and laugh through our tears. Our sugar-snout who misses her favorite pest as much as we do and continues to look for him at times.

Let’s go out!

Introducing Ducky’s Baby Brother

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Bogie – think Humphrey Bogart – Oakes. Our little guy was born on Saturday, February 6th, along with his 12 siblings – exactly one week before Ducky’s 9th birthday. ❤️

Bailey’s 13 Puppies

We met this little cutie-pie when he was only three weeks old, and he and his 12 siblings were still barely moving far from Mama Bailey. Bailey channeled our sweet Callie that day to let us know that Callie, Shadow and Radar would approve of whichever puppy we picked out.

You My HuMommy!

One week later this little guy picked us out. While his siblings left my side in their playpen to go to Bailey for a drink at her milk bar, Bogie stayed with me and crawled on my legs and gave me sweet, tiny puppy kisses when I held him up to my face. Then I handed him to hubby and he made himself comfy in hubby’s arm.

You My HuDaddy!

It’s a good thing Bogie picked us because we would have had a hard time choosing one and saying no to the others! All of Bailey’s puppies are beautiful, just like their mama.

When we went back to see Bogie two weeks later, he had grown so much! And he was having a blast exploring his surroundings. And he loved hanging around hubby.

Bogie at 6 Weeks

We brought Bogie home on Saturday. And Ducky was curious but jealous. The green-gilled monster is controlling her inside the house right now, so we have to be really careful about their interactions. 😢 Outside in the yard, Ducky pretty much ignores Bogie. He tries to follow her, but he’s still a little slow for that. 😉 It’s just going to take some time for Ducky to adjust. She was jealous of Shadow, too, sometimes.

I wasn’t really expecting Ducky to become Bogie’s surrogate mama – like Callie did with Shadow – but I was hoping she would be more accepting of her baby brother. I suspect that as he grows and matures – and doesn’t require nearly as much of our attention – that she will begin to accept him. He is such a happy, sweet little guy and used to other dogs that he doesn’t recognize yet that Ducky doesn’t want to be bothered with him.

Curiosity

Christmas Cactus for Radar

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I can’t believe it’s nearly a week since Radar joined Callie and Shadow in Heaven.

Anyway, last Sunday after church hubby and I made a quick stop at our local grocery store. As we walked towards the bakery, we stopped at a tabletop display of Christmas Cactus plants. There were red ones and these white and pink ones. Hubby and I both needed cheering up, so we bought this one in memory of our boy.

More of the flowers have bloomed since Sunday. I like to think it’s because Radar likes our choice and is giving us a sign that he’s okay. I can just imagine him wagging his tail as Callie and Shadow greeted him at the Rainbow Bridge. That tail of his was almost always wagging! He was such a happy boy!

We are going to do our best to make this Christmas a merry one. Callie, Shadow, and Radar would want it that way. The last few years we’ve had a rather quiet Christmas without Callie. And until Radar came along in October, I didn’t feel much like celebrating without our sweet Shadow as well. But Radar brought so much joy back into all our lives that we have to find a way to keep that feeling alive. Radar and his sisters would want us to be at least cheerful.

Radar is back home now. I’m not one for setting up shrines, but his ashes are in this beautiful wooden box. And we also have this clay paw print.

Our boy – Ducky’s most special friend – is back home and I know his sweet, happy spirit is nearby. And I know Radar will help Callie and Shadow find us a new friend/brother for Ducky. The three of them know what we need and I trust their judgement. When all the hustle and bustle of the holiday season is over, we’ll have our 3 Golden Angels actively start the search for our next Golden Earth Angel.

So, as Radar’s Christmas Cactus blooms, we will take it as a sign that he is, indeed, here with us. And we will celebrate the joy of his life with us along with the true meaning of Christmas.