My Heart Melters

Miss Sassy Pants Loves Her Big Brother

Zen is scheduled for his neuter surgery (and a dental cleaning) on Wednesday, so Zoey will be spending his week-long recuperation period at their Grandpa’s house. I am sooooo going to miss seeing these snuggle sessions!! 🥲

Be Careful What You Wish For!

I’m sure you’ve all heard that warning before. But have you ever paid much attention to it? I know I didn’t, really. Until one morning at the end of last month …..

For most of March and April, I was burning out from being “Mom” to the Z Kids without the help of a “Daddy.” I was lamenting the days before Zoey joined Zen and me.

Don’t get me wrong. I love Zoey dearly and wouldn’t give her up for anything other than her own well-being. But her isolation anxiety was taking its toll on me, on Zen, and on our relationship. And it was – of course – taking its toll on Zoey herself and our relationship with each other. Even some stress on Zen’s and Zoey’s relationship with each other.

So back to my lamenting, my burning out. I was tired. I was frustrated. I was sad and scared. And I wasn’t eating enough of the right foods. TBH, I wasn’t eating enough, period. And I was constantly saying to Zen that “I love Zoey dearly, but I miss the days when it was just the two of us.”

On the morning of April 25th I woke up early, and as usual, started to sit up in bed. But I was so dizzy I had to lay back down. I waited a moment and tried again. Same thing. Then I started to panic. How would I take care of the puppies if I couldn’t even take care of myself. I called my friend, and the pups’ “Grandpa,” and left a message in his voicemail. Then I tried again to sit up. Same dizziness. I laid back down and checked my heart rate. Normal. Waited another ten minutes or so and checked again. Normal again. Still dizzy but not quite as bad. No nausea, sweats, or aches and pains, just dizzy.

Called my friend again. He said he’d get ready to come down to get Zen and Zoey, so the panic subsided. Still a little dizzy but not as bad. Almost an hour had passed. The dizziness was subsiding as well. Zen was on the bed with me, laying right next to me. Zoey was in her crate next to the bed, waiting patiently for me to let her out. Once the dizziness had passed, I got dressed and let Zoey out of her crate. We went into the kitchen, slowly, but I felt normal and steady on my feet. Then my friend’s daughter arrived and we sat and talked for a few minutes.

We took the pups out to the yard to relieve themselves and play some. My earthly guardian angel was on the way and his daughter had to leave for an appointment. But I was feeling 100% better and fully steady on my feet. And Zen continued to keep a watchful eye on me while he and Zoey played in the living room.

My friend arrived and we sat and talked for a bit while I ate the breakfast biscuit he had picked up for me on his way here. He was still willing to take both pups home with him; but I knew I’d go out of my mind if I stayed home completely alone. So he took Zoey home with him and Zen stayed with me.

Zoey stayed with her “Grandpa” and other doggie family for a few days while I pulled myself together. Zen watched me like a hawk. When I had to go to the store to get food, our regular pet sitter stayed with him. The rest of the time I spent here at home, making sure I ate three balanced meals a day and spending time with Zen. And texting with my friend, sending photos back and forth.

Those few days Zoey was with her Grandpa, I truly paid attention to that old line about being careful what you wish for. And I thanked God endlessly for giving me the warning that He had. And I thanked my friend, his daughter, and another dear friend (who had brought me some homemade comfort food later that day) for being there for me – once again – in my hours of need. I honestly don’t know what I would have done if I had had to fend for myself that day.

I’m very careful now about what I wish for; and I’m very careful about taking care of myself as well as the Z Kids. And I constantly thank God and all my guardian angels for watching over us all. the. time. I’m feeling much better now, exactly a month later. And Zen keeps a watchful eye on me still, enlisting Zoey’s aid when he needs a break. I am thankful for these two earth angels of mine, too. Our relationships – mine with each of them separately and theirs with each other – have improved tremendously.

With that all said, I’m linking to the Thankful Thursday blog hop. Thankful for ALL my blessings, especially the ones I tend to take for granted at times.

After the Playin’

While I was watching the Z Kids sleep a few minutes ago, Englebert Humperdinck’s song “After the Lovin'” popped into my head. Probably because, as I said to my brother, these two have their very own mutual adoration society going on.

If these two photos don’t make you go “Awwwwww”, I’d have to think either you’re blind or you have a cold heart.

Wednesday Morning Puppy Snuggles

🥰 Cuteness Overload 🥰

Just makes you say “awwwww” doesn’t it?! I love when my fur-kids snuggle like that – it warms my heart faster than the hottest mug of coffee ever could. They both look so. stinking. cute!! 💚🐾💜🐾🦮🦮😍😍

Happy Tuesday

Hi Everyone! The Z Kids’ mama here to tell you all is well in our part of the world. The Z Kids are resting here in the living room with me.

Chilling out

We spent about an hour playing out in the back yard after they had their breakfast. Zen has become a bit of a fresh air addict – like Ducky was – so sometimes I have to watch him to be sure he doesn’t overdo playtime. But he’s a teenager now – God help me! – so he needs more exercise than he did this time last year. He LOVES chasing down balls that I throw around the yard. He also loves playing “keep away” from me and “tug war” with Zoey.

Z Kids Playtime

Well, my big boy is letting me know he wants to go back outside so I’ll make this a short post. The Z Kids and I hope “all y’all” have a Happy Tuesday!

The Best Kind of Mother’s Day

Well, today is Mother’s Day, so let me wish ALL the mothers out there a wonderful day! 💐 Heck, Happy Mother’s Day to everyone whether you are one or not!!

Around this house, it’s also a very special day for the three of us….

It’s ZEN’S first annual Gotcha Day!! His Daddy and I brought him home for the very first time on this day last year. He was such an adorable little guy! He’s still adorable in a grown-up way! 💚🐾

Mama’s Little Zen Puppy

And, it’s also ZOEY’S first half-year Gotcha Day! I brought her home for the very first time six months ago today. She was adorable that day and still is! And just as sweet and sassy as she was that day I brought her home (while their Uncle Doug stayed with her big brother, Zen). 💜🐾

Mama’s Baby Girl

They can be challenging and exhausting at times, but I love them to the ends of the universe and back! And I certainly could not ask for or hope for any sweeter, more loving pups! The bonus is that they adore and are adored by each other. They are typical young siblings, but when all is quiet, they can still be found snuggled up together.

💚 Such sweet snuggle buddies! 💜

Happy Heavenly Birthday Callie

My First Golden Girl

Callie was my/our very first Golden Retriever. She was born 19 years ago today. She was a sweet, loving, and very independent puppy and adult.

Even at four months old she was teaching me about being a good dog mom. She was the first born in her litter, and from the time she opened her eyes – according to her breeder – she helped her mama stop and settle squabbles among her littermates.

When we added Shadow to our little family six months after we’d brought Callie home, Callie appointed herself Shadow’s surrogate mama, protector, best friend, teacher, and big sister. Callie sensed, correctly, that Shadow was a somewhat “needy” girl right from the start. And from day one, the girls forged a bond between them that would later transcend time and space.

Callie & Shadow’s First Christmas (2004)

When we added Ducky to the family in 2012, Callie taught Ducky how to be a dog, how to be a member of our family; and she intervened in the many squabbles between Shadow and Ducky. She also taught Ducky all she would need to know about getting along with Shadow once it was just the two of them. I think she might have warned Ducky of ghostly discipline, too, if she didn’t treat Shadow right. 🤣

Callie was my and hubby’s dear friend, our ambassador for her breed. And she owned and loved us equally, neither of us was her favorite “parent.” I will never forget her as long as I have my wits about me. She was our girl. And she was Shadow’s and Ducky’s older sister and best friend. And she taught Ducky well how to protect Shadow and be her true friend and sister.

So I’ll end this post by saying “Happy Birthday” to my dear Callie. The girl who started my love of Golden Retrievers, the girl who picked Radar and Bogie for Sam and me after Shadow joined her at the Rainbow Bridge.

Happy Tuesday

Geez, is it really the last week of March already?! In another few days Zen will have been two weeks out from his first birthday! Where has the time gone?

I’ve been taking self-imposed breaks from blogging – and most everything else as well – mainly to keep the perfectionist in me at bay. That little demon on my shoulder, whispering in my ear, telling me that I need to do a better job of this or that. And so far I’ve been pretty successful at telling him to “bugger off” and leave me alone. (I watched “Darkest Hour” again the other night and laughed every time Sir Winston used “bugger” instead of “the f word”.)

Anyway, I’ve gotten a few things done on my “to do” list, especially the most important one. One other I can only do when the county property office returns my call from last week. And a third I can only do while my brother is here to stay with the pups. (Because one can never tell up front how long it will take to accomplish any task at the motor vehicle office.)

So, in between taking care of house cleaning, budget, and other assorted tasks, I’ve been playing with the Z Kids and watching them play with each other. And watching programs on the History Vault (thank you, Prime, for picking up old History Channel programs from the years when they were actually history related). Anyway, here are some pix and videos of of the Z Kids.

Zen
Zoey
Indoor Playtime

The Z Kids are my rocks, my grounders, my reasons for getting out of bed some mornings, my pride and joy (both of them being both pride and joy). They make me crazy at times, but they are definitely my angels with paws. They make every day a happy one, in spite of my leaky-eye times.

Happy Heavenly Birthday Sweet Ducky

❤️🐾 My Sweet Ducky 🐾❤️

My sweet, loving, sassy soulmate. You would be starting your 11th year on earth today if you were still here physically. Instead, you’ll be starting your second year as a winged furry angel on Wednesday night.

I know you’re always nearby, even if I can’t see you. You borrow Zoey’s earthly form to visit me. Quite often. I call Zoey by your name. A LOT.

I miss your physical presence, baby girl. I miss your sweet puppy kisses. I miss seeing that sweet smile, and loving gaze, that you reserved just for me. And I will until we are reunited.

Ducky, you and I will always have that special heart-and-soul connection. It transcends time and space. It keeps our spirits connected even though our physical selves are separated. All those years we spent working and playing together, trying to relieve your anxieties around strange, unfamiliar people, were the cement that strengthened our bond from one day to the next; from one year to the next.

I was devastated when you left your earthly form behind that night. My baby girl was “gone” in an instant. I hadn’t been able to tell you one last time how very much I love you. Or how very sorry I was for not being able to protect you well enough from Daddy’s dementia demons. I hadn’t been able to hold you lovingly as you left your body behind. It took a long time, and the help of a pet-loss psychologist, to forgive myself for all the times I felt I had failed you or disappointed you. Just writing this is bringing on the tears again. Zen keeps coming over to check on me. Zoey is here on the couch, curled up next to me, like Bogie used to do in the mornings.

Wednesday night will be a year since you joined your sisters and brothers in Heaven. I won’t ever “get over” losing your physical presence, your special smile, your sweet puppy kisses. But Zen and Zoey have been healing and expanding my shattered heart with their own ways of loving me. And I know you’ve been right here with us, helping us.

I will always love you, Ducky. And I know you will always love me, and be here with me. ❤️🐾❤️🐾. We will meet again, my sweet girl. Zen and Zoey send you puppy kisses. 💚🐾💜🐾🦮😘🦮😘

Morning Snuggles & A Heavenly Birthday

My Baby Girl

Just like her older brother, Angel Bogie, Zoey must have her morning snuggles with me. 💞🦮🐾

Fast asleep 💜🐾😍

Funny to me is that as a rule of paw, the male Goldens are more likely to be the “needy”, cuddly pups than the females. Well, I never did like living by “rules” anyway. In this house, the roles are reversed…..

Zen is more like Ducky in the snuggles department: when and how HE wants them. Zoey is just like older brother, Angel Bogie: SHE must have the morning snuggles on the couch (or in the recliner). Her brother, and sister Ducky, knew I would need another snuggle buddy and that little Zoey would be perfect in that role. 🥰

So, on to the second reason for this particular Awww Mondays blog post…

🦮My Beautiful Angel Boy Bogie🦮

HAPPY 2nd BIRTHDAY In Heaven my Beautiful Bogie Boy!! Mama will always miss you until we’re all reunited. And I will always love you.